True Value

1 Timothy 1: 12-17

“Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners” what a mighty and powerful statement.  It is one we say and hear quite often but sometimes it is easier to say than to believe. 

Maybe you remember learning about Paul’s conversion experience.  He was a Pharisee, a leader in the temple who felt that the followers of Jesus were destroying the community of faith and needed to be destroyed themselves.  He was willing to maintain the status quo at any cost- including taking the lives of anyone who dared to go another way.  Until, that day on the road to Damascus, his life is changed forever.  Jesus confronts him, convicts him and sends him as a messenger for Christ.

This is a dramatic turnaround for Paul and a significant moment in the life of the church.  The greatest enemy to the cause of Christ has become the greatest ally.  While this is dramatic and wonderful on all levels, it is hard for most people to relate.  While I do know people who have had a similar experience, many people have a slower and more gradual turn around.  Instead of a U-Turn back to Christ we go around the block a few times to find the right direction.  But it is in Paul’s retelling of what that moment of conversion did in his life that most Christians can relate.

As I read Paul’s story and reflect on my own faith journey, I know I can relate.    I was not a violent person or a persecutor but I did seek to find self worth in all the wrong places.  Paul found value in the encouragement of his peers to kill the Christians.  He found value in his position in the Temple and within the Jewish hierarchy of society- thinking he was better than others because he followed the law better than others. 

We can all relate to that.  It is part of human nature to compare ourselves with others.  See if you can relate to any of these scenarios from a book I am reading- Teaching as a Sacramenta Act:

                A group of youth stand on a street corner jeering at an old man… they feel agile and youthful in comparison.  The man is watching a ragged woman with unkempt hair and dirty clothes walk by him thinking how pathetic she is because she is not successful like him.  Meanwhile the woman who is white looks grumpily back at the man who is black.  She resents the way he holds his head high, she deems his race inferior to hers and does not like his “uppity ways”. 

                Down the street a boy is drinking alcohol with his friends.  His family had rejected him so he acted out to get acceptance and attention from his peers.  A girl from his class sees him drunk on the street and in her mind chastises him while feeling stable and wise thinking she would never do anything like that. (Teaching as a Sacramental Act)  These people are no different from each other, from us, from Paul; we on some level all compare ourselves to others to make ourselves feel better.  But we are looking for value in places that provide a moving target and put others down in the process.

Paul’s story about his relationship to Christ turns this competitive notion on its ear.  He realizes that all the places we seek to find value are false idols.  Promotions and raises at work, relationships with other people, drugs, alcohol, sex, youth, new cars, stylish clothes, wealth… all these are false idols because the value doesn’t last.  Companies close and jobs are lost- where is your value then? Relationships end- friends move, marriages end- the loneliness sets in- where is your value then?  The high ends, youth fades and there isn’t enough Botox and plastic surgery in the world to stop the sands of time, cars break down, clothes go out of style and money- stock markets crash, the value of the dollar plummets.   When the thing that gives you value and worth comes to an end- then what?

When we place value on earthly things we feel it is important to save face when the world falls apart.  We put on a brave, stoic face and build up walls around our personal lives so that others cannot see that we are dying inside.  We whitewash over our imperfections by blaming others or doing as the people in the stories do- find someone who seems less important with whom to compare ourselves. Or, we Band-Aid our problems with busyness, chemicals and empty relationships. But the whitewash and the Band-Aids only mask the fact that we are still falling apart.

Paul’s conversion not only convicted him of his sin but rearranged the order of where he found value.  This is what a relationship with Christ does for everyone.  Conversion is not a one-time experience and it is not a fix all to the problems in our lives.  Even after we begin a relationship with Christ we continue to sin and Christ in his endless patience calls us to repent time after time, convert, return; we are repeatedly convicted of our sins so that we can be put back in a right relationship with Christ.  I don’t know about you but every time I am in a worship service where they do a sinner’s prayer or call for repentance and conversion- I am there in my heart- of course I want to be in right relation to God, of course I want to be forgiven of my sins- It reminds me of my rightful place in this world; unworthy of the love and forgiveness of Christ.  The love and forgiveness of Christ is an act of mercy, love and compassion that Jesus bestows on anyone who will accept it but no one truly deserves. 

We are down here and God is up here.  That order never changes. God never changes so when we stop finding personal value in things of this world and realize that it is Christ alone who gives us value it doesn’t really matter if the world falls apart around us.  Yes, it is devastating to lose a job and relationships but we don’t lose our pride and our value because that is not what defines us- Christ defines who we are.  Our value does not come from what we do or who we pretend to be, our value comes in our willingness to admit and recognize that without Christ we are nothing. 

Paul retells his story of conversion, not because it is novel- Timothy has spent years in ministry with Paul. He already knows the story.  But retelling it reminds Timothy and us of the hope we find in Christ.  As we begin to see ourselves as God sees us it is important to share that story with others.  This change, conversion, repentance is an inward event that is not always immediately evident to the people around us but as people see how God has changed us, they find hope and encouragement for their own lives.

They realize there is no need to hide, no need to pretend that their life and world is perfect because no one’s is.  It encourages us and allows us to be authentic, real, caring and compassionate knowing that our successes and failures are not what make us valuable or important.  What makes us each important and valuable is that we are loved by the God who created heaven and earth, the God who has mercy and compassion on us, and who is patient and faithful to the promises made to us, willing to be vulnerable, willing to suffer and die so that our lives could be eternal with him, willing to love us and forgive us each time we make mistakes.

The gospel lesson assigned for today that I did not read, is the two parables of the lost sheep and the lost coin.  Reminding us that God finds value in each and every person- willing to seek us out, willing to risk everything to find those who are lost, and celebrating each and every time we are found.  This is a God of love, who places value on even the least of these- the marginalized, the abused, the forgotten and the lost all have value and worth in the eyes of God.  You have worth; you are priceless to God not because of what you can do or what you have done but in spite of these things.  God just wants you to recognize that you are loved, cherished, and cared for, valued so much you were worth dying for.  Christ came to earth to save sinners from a false sense of self-worth, from the false idols in our lives, from ourselves. 

Do you know you are loved?  Do you know you are valued by God? Have you been hiding from the realness of this life afraid of what others might think? Afraid you will lose value if people know the real you? Take this moment of reflection: turn from these false idols, these places of false value and turn to the one who truly knows you and loves you anyway- Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!